How do you stop your heart from feeling like it does? Love is such a grey subject. How do change how you feel when your heart and mind agree? It’s loving someone with every ounce of your being. (Not my current state to those reading this)
Some people say they instantly know who they are meant to be with but others say events have to prove it’s real. Can frustration turn into love/lust? Can one moment change everything? Can a dream turn into reality?
This is a subject that is up for debate. Do we distance ourselves from what we want or feel just so we don’t cause pain? Can you look at someone to see your future? There are so many unknowns that even if the answers are right in front of us.
Do we try to fool our minds so the heartbreak isn’t so hard? Do people play with our minds so they don’t hurt our hearts? Have you ever wanted something so much that the thought of not getting it kills your insides? It’s almost like reaching for the stars but only getting to the moon!
I don’t know about you but I used to write notes all the time in high school to the boys that I was dating or to my friends with the latest gossip. Nowadays we write letters to people or write letters to people who aren’t around anymore. Then there are times we write letters to people because what we want to say can’t be said out loud.
We never intended on letting anyone read the letters but we write them so that we can move through the emotions and deal with all the anger or pain that lies inside our of hearts. It’s almost like a form of therapy. I even try to write to my dad so that I can tell him how much I miss him and how much I still need him around.
Sometimes there aren’t the right words for what you want to say to someone because you fear saying the wrong thing or exposing the truth. I still remember my first love you note in high school. I dated a guy during high school and then we dated after high school but things just weren’t meant to be but we talk from time to time.
Maybe one day, I’ll write you a letter just so that I can expose all my emotions.
We meet people daily; some change our lives and others just make a brief appearance. I have a habit of talking to everyone and not hiding anything about how I feel. I guess you could say that I’m an open book. My big mouth usually gets me in trouble because I don’t seem to care what people think because if I believe in something, I stand by it. I also tend to care about people more than I should but I was raised with an open heart.
I tend to give more than I receive. For some people, I think that they could be lucky if I care but others take advantage. I don’t like to yell but I don’t like when people put words in my mouth that I would never say. I was picked on growing up so for some people not wanting me bothers me because I feel like I’m a screw-up and not worth people’s time. Then there are others that I don’t care if you like me or not.
If I value what you have to say and care about you then you have made a difference in my life in some way. But if you turn and use that to your advantage then you don’t deserve my time. But sometimes, rarely, I like you one day and don’t even want to be in the same room with you the next but it has happened.
There comes a point in life when we finally feel a love like no other
One that makes absolute sense
Everything about it is perfect
All the right moments
But after finding the missing piece
We find it won’t last forever
Still we hold onto every second
Gasping for it to never end
As the time begins to fade
The love in the air is what keeps it from fading
One last whisper in your ear
One last kiss
The ever dying love
Have you ever made a decision that you had no choice but to make? It doesn’t matter what you decide but the pain is unbearable. No amount of love or support can change what’s truly in your heart.
Even when you know that you love someone beyond words and no amount of love can change what’s truly in your heart. We meet people who change our lives everyday and some more than others.
I made a decision last night after feeling the world is a different place. I made this choice because what’s deep in my heart won’t change things surroundings it.
I will wake up tomorrow and still feel the same way but this is my heart. I care about you and no matter how you are towards me that won’t change.
Sometimes even walking away doesn’t make it better or easier.
Have you ever found yourself thinking about someone that you would have never thought would have mattered in your life? But one day, something in your changes…
Do you follow what’s in your heart or stay in what the relationship that you are currently in?
It’s happened to be before and I decide which I love and wanted more. Love can have so many gray areas and yet some of go with our hearts and leave everything behind to start anew.
We meet people everyday and some changes our lives forever. But we find some people just leave a mark and how we chose to deal with it is our choice.
We make choices everyday from what’s for lunch or what way we drive home. Those things maybe petty at the time but sometimes they can change our whole world.
My final thought is “Adulting is hard” when can I stop?
When I first met him he had an ego so big that I couldn’t stand being in the same room with him but then I was forced to deal with him one on one. So my opinion of him changed a lot. I found that he is hard-working and really a down-to-earth guy. A friend told me he does things for me that he has never done for her.
The thing that I just haven’t figured out is I notice something about how he acts toward me. He passed by me one day and we just exchanged an incredible look. I’ve also noticed things about the conversations that we have and how he seems to be selling himself. I care about him and I wish that his company valued him more than I see that they do.
My friends tease me about him because they notice things as well. So tonight I’m driving home and he just crossed my mind when my cell phone rang and he was on the other end. I was taken aback that he called and that he called me first.
I catch him all the time looking at me but doesn’t say anything to me and when I look up he looks right at me. I like that he will approach me first but at times, I almost have to act like he is an inconvenience so he doesn’t get too close.
When he called and I had just thought of something about him it freaked me out because I told him he had just crossed my mind. I think things like that are signs but of what I don’t know.
I’m glad that I met him, he is like a brand new quarter, you don’t want to spend it but you don’t want to hold on too long. He makes me smile so he is a good muse.
For some of us we write them all the time for work but for some its not required but sometime it’s a must do. I’m ending one journey and will be starting a new one soon.
So, I started writing my report to prepare for my departure so that my boss knows what I have accomplished while being in one particular place. I have to show what my day to day activities and my opinion of certain events that have happened. I take this very seriously even though it’s not required.
However, writing this report wasn’t as easy as the last one that I wrote because more people were involved and there were people turned my day to day activities upside down.
I’m dedicated to doing my job and proving my worth so that they will promote me faster. I care about making sure that the job is done right and that I am true to my word.
There is no doubt that I will sit down and rewrite the report again for the fourth time since there are things that I need to say but finding the right words aren’t coming to me.
So, when was the last time you wrote a report?
I know that I am guilty of it but I noticed someone do it to me today. He made the comment that he has almost kicked the habit, like that would change how I think about him. I know that I try to sell myself to people all the time because I want people to see that I work hard and that I want to achieve goals. But at the same time we want people to like us.
There are some people who don’t have to sell themselves because you have an instant like to them but others seem like they aren’t happy until you approve of them. I don’t give myself credit even when I feel like I can’t say enough. I want just like everyone else to be liked and admired for being a good person and trying to help people.
No, I can’t walk on water but I make the effort to show people that I worthy of them even though I don’t feel like I’m worthy of them. For some of us, we are particular about who we like but then we are also very picky of how we see people. For some, they just can’t make you happy no matter what they do. I think our minds have already picked who we will or won’t like regardless of the situation.
Do you sell yourself to be not thinking about it or do you knowingly do it?
I’ve gotten to a point there are things better left unsaid. Some people don’t deserve to know what’s in our heart. I always thought that it was important to be honest regardless of the outcome. Rejection hurts but I think lies are worse.
If I wake up to never see you again my heart is still going to feel the same even if I never see you again. I can’t change the fact that I care about you and respect you. Even trying to hate you doesn’t make sense because it not how I feel.
Sometimes the hearts wants what it wants and there is no changing that. I’ve stated my peace.